Young motherhood and marriage should not be romanticized

Photo by Analyn Cuarto
Photo by Analyn Cuarto

You think high school sucked? Wait till you have a kid

By Jessica Berget, Opinions Editor

 

It seems every time I go on social media another person from my high school is either getting married, having kids, or both. I know this is supposed to be the next milestone in every young persons’ life after graduating high school, but there must be something more to being in your twenties other than reproducing and settling down. You have your whole life ahead of you, why settle now?

I think your twenties is a time to discover and develop yourself as a person. This could be anything from getting an education, figuring out career paths, or even just learning a skill. It’s also a quintessential time to just have fun and enjoy your life as the pressures of life and trying to find a career weighs down on you. However, to some women this is the time to procreate.

Having a baby and getting married should not be treated as something to cross off your list of things to get done, it should be handled responsibly and maturely, and when you are ready for it.

Women especially face a lot of social pressure to procreate and get married. Society dictates that if women can have children that they absolutely should as soon as they get married, but this is not at all the case. Because of this social pressure to reproduce, many women don’t fully realize the gravity of having and raising children, and end up regretting or resenting their kids. I know some women who are still living under their parents’ roof with their significant other and are having children. Some think that since it is something that they have always wanted to do, they should do it as soon as they can.

Some women also believe that having a baby will bring them happiness or fulfilment. I believe if you aren’t financially prepared and independent from your parents, bringing a baby into the mix is the last thing you should be doing. It will create a lot of issues and stress for everyone involved if you are not fully prepared for it and that kind of environment is not good to raise a child in. It will do the opposite of bringing you happiness and fulfilment.

Like with having children, I don’t think marriage is something that should not be done in your twenties. People change and evolve so much in this time of their lives. I am not the same person I was 10 years, or five years, or hell, even one year ago. I think people should have time to be independent and to grow and improve themselves as people and develop their own sense of themselves before they commit themselves to another person.

Marrying or having kids young isn’t always a bad thing; some young women are wonderful mothers. However, the idea that women need to get married and have children as soon as they can to be successful or fulfilled is toxic reasoning and puts women under pressure to do these things that they may not be prepared for or have given much thought about.

Do these things when you are confident that you are ready and are prepared to deal with the consequences, because they are life-changing decisions.