Could it be the missing Miss Snow?
By Morgan Hannah, Fairy Tale Reporter
Last seen at age seventeen, Miss White was known as the town’s fairest maiden with some issues at home.
Phillip
Charming, local young hiker and heir to the fortune of his father—Charles
Charming—came across an unusual sight during his usual hike through the
Enchanted Forest trails yesterday. “I was wandering through Route 41, it was
dark and twisty, and full of roots snaking across the trail’s surface. I had on
my Timberland Men’s MT Maddsen Mid Waterproof Hiking Boots in dark brown, though,
so I was making footprints on the trail in these rugged leather hikers.”
Displaying his customary levels of charm, Charming stooped down to showcase his
“hikers,” then continued his interview with the Other Press. “I came
across a clearing in the forest and there, right in the middle like a prize on
a game show was a glass coffin—and inside it was a woman. She looked to be dead
but peaceful with shoulder length black hair, blood-red lips, and skin as white
as snow.”
Several years ago, a young woman by the name of Snow White went missing. Last seen at age seventeen, Miss White was known as the town’s fairest maiden with some issues at home. The running theory is that her mother, Queen Eva, was terribly jealous of Miss White’s beauty and the attention it got her, so she sent her daughter off into the Enchanted Forest and hired a huntsman to dispose of her. The Other Press had the opportunity to interview that same huntsman, Jeremy Costner, who claimed to never find Miss White: “I’ve already told the Head of Magic and All Investigations, I didn’t kill Snow White! Yes, Eva hired me for the job, but I never found the girl and thought better of it once wandering through that foul forest.”
Following up with the Head of Magic and All Investigations, there was no actual evidence to support the theory, all accusations were dropped and Jeremy Costner was freed. Queen Eva, on the other hand, has since suspiciously holed up in her castle back in town. Reporters and paparazzi flooding the gates daily for just a glimpse or a quote from the new fairest of them all.
When asked if he recognized the woman in the glass coffin, Phillip Charming reported “not until I opened up the coffin and saw that she looked exactly like the missing Snow White.” Charming went into great detail about his next set of actions, how he caressed the side of the Snow-White lookalike’s face and planted a juicy kiss on her cold lips. Charming was shocked when nothing happened as a result, “I couldn’t believe it! I’ve kissed plenty of young princesses and damsels in distress—there was the time when Princess Aurora was cast into a never-ending sleep and after my kiss, she woke up! Or the time when Cinderella was so pleased that I had returned her glass slipper, she leapt right into my arms and, well, we kissed!”
It wasn’t until night had fallen that the Snow White lookalike arose from her own slumber. The Other Press tentatively approached for an interview. “I am Amdis Drusilla, Queen of the night and of the dead. I was sleeping as I do during the day when a disgustingly rude mortal man laid his lips upon mine. I shall have his head for this!” Escaping quickly from the interview, it has been confirmed that the lookalike is simply just that, a lookalike. With no up to date news on the whereabouts of the missing Miss Snow, Queen Eva and Jeremy Costner are free forevermore. Phillip Charming, on the other hand, is being arrested for his admissions of assault and theft.
