Avid gym goer admits he really just enjoys counting

His entire persona has been a sham

By Chandler Walter, Humour Editor

While many go to the local gym to pump some sweet, sweet iron and get a wicked swole on, Jim Wrat found himself frequenting the mirrored sweat factory for completely different reasons.

“I just… I just love counting,” Wrat admitted when the Other Press tried to interview him about his workout habits. “I don’t know what it is, I just get this sweet, sweet burn whenever I count up to 10.”

Wrat found that counting to himself at home did not hold the same joy that going to the gym allowed him. “It’s just not the same at home, you don’t get the same intense feeling. Maybe I just need to be doing it in front of other people. I tried just staying at home and counting, but I quit after my first set. I started watching other people count on YouTube instead. Enjoyable, but just not the same sense of satisfaction.”

Wrat admits that the gym offers other incentives for doing his counting at the fitness centre, rather than an at home count-out.

“Man, the other day I was counting some… what do you call it when you make the heavy thing not be on the ground anymore? Oh yea, counting some lifts beside this really cute girl. It made my counting even more amazing. I counted right up to 15, to impress her.”

While Wrat realizes that there is something odd about his favourite hobby, many gym-goers who know him appreciate his presence.

“Oh yeah? Jimmy? Great guy,” said self-proclaimed hashtag fitness freak Biff Legdaze. “A little too eager to spot for us, though. He’s always trying to get us to do just one more set. Always makes sure to count out loud for ya too, which is appreciated.”

Wrat has noticed a significant improvement in his counting strength since he joined the gym in January, and though he has given up on his new year’s resolution to “pick up and put down the heavy stuff” as he puts it, he is more than eager to stay a member for all the number building he’s been doing.

“Sometimes I do a whole bunch of math right before I go,” Wrat said. “It gets me nice and pumped up. Those days I can count way further than I usually would be able to without my pre-count out routine. And then after, its nice to cool off with a bit of backwards counting, to stretch out the mind muscles.”