Illustration by Ed Appleby.
Three reasons to date an older man
By Avalon Doyle, Contributor
There comes a time in some men’s lives when everything they had planned until their mid-30s falls apart and they get a little wild. It’s commonly known as a mid-life crisis: one last shot at youthful frivolousness that often includes preying upon girls in their early 20s. I like to be that girl, and to help ease them gracefully through the crisis.
This isn’t something I seek intentionally—it just happens. The beauty of a young man whose abs are rock hard and whose face is wrinkle-free is something I can totally appreciate because, honestly, I love all men and everything about them. There’s just something in particular about older men that appeals to me. I love their gruff voices, their rough hands, and their stories from a time that’s passed.
So, in defense of every newly divorced middle-aged man rocking a receding hairline and a protective layer where his abs used to be, I’ve compiled this list of the benefits a girl can look forward to if she chooses to explore a little mid-life crisis territory.
Sex. This might seem like an obvious one—god help the man who hasn’t figured it out after 40 years—but I really do think it’s better. There’s definitely room for debate, but I think not growing up with mass amounts of free pornography at one’s fingertips via the Internet gives some of these dudes a boost in the boudoir. They learned by fumbling their way around a woman’s body and they picked up a few tricks over the extra years. I’ve never had that awkward moment with an older man where I’ve had to say something like, “Yeah man, not sure where you saw that move, but the only way my leg’s going where you want it is if you cut ‘er off.”
Conversation. I once had an older man tell me that sex only makes up a very short amount of time with someone, and at some point, there needs to be a little non-physical interaction. Sometimes boys become men and they learn to enjoy a good conversation. We talk about art, music, politics, people, philosophy, or anything else you can think of. Wonderful conversationalists in their 20s do exist, but you get a unique perspective with an older man. You love Led Zeppelin? He saw them live in ’79.
Work hard; play harder. Most middle-aged men are settled into careers that give them disposable income and vacation time. Over all the years they have on you, they’ve been buying boats, cabins, trucks, houses, jet skis, and timeshares in exotic locations. To loosely paraphrase Kanye West, I’m not saying I’m a gold digger, but I’m not messing with the unemployed middle-aged. I have a job as well, and after I take care of my bills, I take my extra money and treat my man. I’ll pick up the dinner tab, bring gas money for boating, or bring an extra case of beer if we’re having a barbecue—no man can resist a young woman who shows up with beer. So keep a balance, but in the end, you’re still winning.
To conclude, I date older men because I enjoy them. There’s an honesty to a man passing his prime; an honesty that isn’t there in his 20s. I lead a really busy life and I move around a lot, which makes it difficult to dedicate time to a real relationship or to playing games. They never ask me about the guy I just added on Facebook, and they don’t text me every minute of the day and demand to know why I’m not responding. I truly feel that my time is appreciated more with these older men than with the young guys I’ve slept with.
I’m smart enough to know I’m not bringing that old guy home to my parents, marrying him, or planning a life with him. I’m given limited moments with him, and I’m having fun while it lasts.
