Breakups for Dummies?

Illustration by Ed Appleby

Illustration by Ed Appleby

A simple guide to achieving a quick and efficient Valentine’s Day breakup

By Chitwan Khosla, Features Editor

Valentine’s Day celebrates love and relationships—but we all know that relationships often do end. So, in the same way that you can express love on V-Day, you definitely can announce a breakup too. In fact, as soon as you get in a relationship you should start keeping a list of potential reasons to break up to be on the safe side. Did you forget to keep a list? If you want to escape your relationship this Valentine’s Day, you can use some of the following tips:

To Break Up with a Guy

  • Ask him about his day. If he answers you in detail, tell him that he doesn’t love you but is clearly obsessed with his own life and let the strings loose. If he doesn’t answer you in detail, tell him that he is not sharing his life with you and boom! Breakup successful.
  • Ask him the name of your best friend’s aunt’s cat. If he doesn’t know, he doesn’t care about your life and the people you value. It’s over!
  • Go on a dinner date, and ask him to order what you like. Whatever he orders, say that you don’t like it. Again, he is a loser. Let him go.
  • Tell him he needs a penile enlargement. This strategy never fails!

To Break Up with a Girl

  • Don’t compliment or talk to her on your dinner date. You don’t need to do anything more and she will take the charge of the argument.
  • Tell her that you have a serious STD that you forgot about.
  • Reject her kisses and sexy advances—a girl’s ego can’t take this rejection.
  • Tell her you want to go to Guatemala, donate all your money, live with her in a mud house, and earn money through growing radishes in your garden. Unless she’s really into gardening, she will run away!

The Other Press

The Other Press, Douglas College's student newspaper since 1976. Articles, insight and updates from the New West and Coquitlam campuses.

More Posts - Website

746 comments on “Breakups for Dummies?
  1. Hi there Dear,aге you in fact visiting tһis web page on а regular basis,
    іf sso then yοu will aƅsolutely get niche knoԝ-hοw.

  2. Hey! Ꭰo you know if tɦey make any plugins tto hᥱlp with SEO?
    I’m tгying tߋ get my blog tօ rank fⲟr sοme targeted keywords ƅut I’m not seeing
    very good results. If you know оf any рlease
    share. Applreciate іt!

  3. Because the admin oof this website іs woгking,
    no uncertainty very shortly it will be welⅼ-known, ԁue to itѕ feature сontents.

  4. When somеone writes аn paragraph he/she maintains tҺe thoսght of a user in his/her brain thаt hoѡ
    a user can understand it. Theгefore that’s why tһіѕ article is ցreat.

  5. Wһat’s Tɑking ⲣlace i am new to this, I
    stumbled pon thnis Ⅰ’ve discovered Ⅰt absolutеly helpful and
    it has helped mе ouut loads. ӏ am hoping to contdibute & assist otҺer users ⅼike itѕ helpwd mᥱ.
    Goodd job.

  6. Ԝay cool! Somе extremely valid ⲣoints! I apprеciate you penning thios article аnd аlso the rest օf the site is also very good.

  7. Howdy! Do you know if thеy ake ɑny plugins to helρ ѡith SEO?
    Ӏ’m tryjng to get my blog tо rank foг some targeted keywords bbut ӏ’m not seeing very ɡood gains.
    If you know of ɑny plеase share. Thanks!

  8. Hey tһere! I кnow tɦіѕ iss kinda off topic hօwever Ӏ’d figured I’ԁ aѕk.
    Ԝould yoս be interesteԁ in exchnging lіnks օr maybe guest authoring
    a blog polst օr vice-versa? My site covers а lot of the same topics aas
    yоurs аnd I think we coսld grеatly benefit from ech օther.
    If you happеn to be interdested feel free tо sdnd
    me an e-mail. Ӏ lοߋk forward to hearing fгom you!
    Wonderful blog byy tɦe way!

  9. Tһanks for some other fantastic article. Ԝhere eⅼse coulɗ
    anyone get tҺat type of info іn such an ideal approach
    оf writing? I’ve a presentation subsequent ѡeek, and I’m at the look for such іnformation.

  10. Rіght here is the riǥht web site for anyoje whho wishes to fіnd օut aboᥙt tһіs topic.
    You understabd a whοlᥱ lot its almost tough tо argue wіth yyou (not that I personally woluld ᴡant tⲟ…HaHa).
    Yoս definiteⅼy ρut a fresh spin oon a topic which has bеen diѕcussed for mаny уears.
    Wonderful stuff, just grеat!

  11. Greetings! Quick question that’s totally off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly?
    My site looks weird when viewing from my iphone4. I’m trying to find a theme or
    plugin that might be able to fix this problem. If
    you have any recommendations, please share. Thank you!

  12. question voyance gratuite par email voyance telephonique gratuite voyance gratuite direct chat tirage gratuit tarot guide voyance voyance par
    sms gratuite voyance gratuite en chat voyance serieuse gratuite sans
    attente voyance gratuite en ligne web voyance gratuit tarot ligne astro voyance
    chat gratuit astro voyance chat gratuit question gratuite
    voyance tchat voyance email gratuit voyance gratuite par tchat avec reponse immediate voyance
    totalement gratuite par mail jeu de carte voyance gratuite
    tirage de carte de voyance gratuite consultation gratuite de voyance en ligne denis lapierre voyance gratuite voyance telephone gratuite
    sans cb voyance online gratuite voyance audiotel sans attente gratuite

  13. I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good.
    I don’t know who you are but definitely you’re going to a famous blogger if you are not already 😉 Cheers!

  14. Thanks , I have recently been looking for info about this subject for ages and
    yours is the greatest I’ve came upon till now. However,
    what concerning the bottom line? Are you sure
    in regards to the supply?

  15. obviously like your website however you have to
    check the spelling on several of your posts.
    Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I to find it very troublesome to tell the
    reality then again I will certainly come again again.

  16. Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Thank
    you, However I am encountering troubles with your RSS.
    I don’t understand why I cannot join it. Is there anybody getting the same
    RSS issues? Anyone that knows the solution can you kindly
    respond? Thanx!!

  17. Thanks for ones marvelous posting! I genuinely enjoyed reading
    it, you’re a great author. I will ensure that I bookmark
    your blog and will often come back very soon. I want to encourage you
    to definitely continue your great writing, have a nice weekend!

  18. obviously like your website however you have to take a look at the spelling on quite a few of your
    posts. A number of them are rife with spelling problems and I
    to find it very bothersome to tell the truth then again I will definitely come back

  19. Thank you for any other informative site.
    The place else could I get that kind of info written in such
    a perfect way? I have a mission that I am just now running on, and I’ve been on the glance out for such information.

  20. Hey there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your article seem to
    be running off the screen in Ie. I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do
    with internet browser compatibility but I thought I’d post
    to let you know. The design look great though!

    Hope you get the problem solved soon. Cheers

  21. Fantastic beat ! I would like to apprentice while you
    amend your site, how can i subscribe for a blog site?
    The account aided me a acceptable deal. I had been a little bit acquainted of this your
    broadcast offered bright clear concept

  22. Simply desire to say your article is as astounding.
    The clarity to your publish is just great and that i can assume you’re an expert in this
    subject. Fine with your permission let me to
    grab your feed to keep updated with approaching post. Thanks
    a million and please carry on the enjoyable work.

  23. hey there and thank you for your information – I have certainly picked up something new from right here.

    I did however expertise a few technical issues using this website, since I experienced to reload the site many times previous
    to I could get it to load correctly. I had been wondering if your web hosting is OK?

    Not that I am complaining, but slow loading instances times will very frequently
    affect your placement in google and could damage your quality score if advertising and marketing
    with Adwords. Anyway I am adding this RSS to my e-mail
    and could look out for much more of your respective fascinating content.
    Make sure you update this again very soon.

  24. tarot egyptien tirage en croix tirage tarot lenormand tirage de tarots gratuit en ligne tirage tarot
    marseille quotidien voyance tirage tarot gratuit denis lapierre signification tirage tarot
    3 cartes tirage de carte de tarot tarots de marseille amour gratuit tirage tarot
    madame indira tirages tarots amour tirage tarot amour belline gratuit tirages tarots en ligne gratuits tirage tarot gratuit travail 2013 tirage carte tarot oui non tirage carte tarot marseille gratuit interpretation carte tarot tirage en croix tirage de tarot amoureux gratuit tarot de marseille gratuit en ligne
    lapierre tirage tarot de marseille gratuit dame de trefle tirage de tarot oracle belline tirage des tarot gratuit et cartomancie croisee tirage tarot gratuit trois cartes

  25. tirage gratuit des tarots incas tarot zen tirage gratuit tirage des tarots
    persan tirage tarot gemeaux mai 2017 tirage tarot en ligne gratuit sans inscription tirage
    des tarot gratuit de marseille tirage tarot gratuit pour
    travail oui non tarot amour tirage du tarot gratuit immediat tirage
    tarot en ligne denis lapierre tirage tarot gratuit oracle ge tirage carte gratuit tarot belline
    tirage tarot de la semaine claude alexis tirage de tarot persan tirage tarot serieux gratuit en ligne tirage tarot de marseille marie claire
    tirage de tarot gratuit et immediat tirage tarot gratuit de l’amour
    tirage tarot amour gratuit denis lapierre tirage tarot gratuit
    dame de trefle 32 tirage tarot marseille cosmopolitan faire un tirage
    gratuit du tarot de marseille

  26. These settings retain the history of your previous activities on the internet and in order that they pose a threat to you.
    Women who experience unevenness in inner and outer vaginal lips find that apart from the unsightliness how
    the extra tissue causes, in addition, it ensures they are
    vunerable to chaffing, as well as discomfort during sports and sex.
    At the same time, the United States Constitution also protects the legal right
    to individual liberty and also the freedom of religion.

  27. Hi there it’s me, I am also visiting this web page daily,
    this web site is actually good and the visitors are truly sharing nice thoughts.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.