With tremulous fingertips, you turn the page in your homework agenda, only to see that which you dreaded most of all: You have an essay due this week.
Scientists announced their latest discovery: The rare English quintuple contraction, “y’all’dn’tv’e,” meaning “you all would not have.”
Although most of the eight-page post consists mostly of Sonic fan art, the parts of the post where words are written call out the “haters” and “phonies” who live in its city.
If you have already clicked the link in such an email, or otherwise believe your computer to be possessed, you are advised to contact a young priest, an old priest, and tech support.
“The days get shorter, the weather worsens, and I’m always stressed at this time of the year. If November were a colour, it would be grey.” — Janice Swanson
We are far from civilized America—instead, we pass old “Make America Great Again” signs that once stood on the lawns of rural Washington residents.
Gauche, who had been writing notes with her left hand at the time of the inquiry, allegedly dropped her pen and, without hesitation, swung at the unsuspecting first year.
“Now I can freely walk the streets knowing that I won’t be confronted with the need to address any issues in a relationship I was part of.” -Mark Daven
“Other diamond companies keep their diamonds locked in tiny cages around the clock—they never to see the light of day, or feel the grass under their incredibly sparkly feet. You won’t find any of that here.” – Spencer Spencington