At first, it was kind of entertaining to hear about West’s dysfunctional nature once again ruining a relationship, but I stopped caring long before the media was done telling me about it.
I really don’t care about these stars, do you?
By Matthew Fraser, Editor in Chief
There’s always some gossip or rumour about a famous couple running around the internet for people to speculate over. Most of the time, I can avoid getting entangled in it. Maybe I am lucky to have all my friends be above the fray and uninterested in celebrity gossip, maybe my lack of cable has meant that I never get a chance to be invested in the million and one Keeping up with the Kardashians reruns, spinoffs, and wannabes. But over the recent few months, it has been inescapable and almost entirely unbearable.
It all started with the Will and Jada Smith shenanigans. There was the interview, there were the memes; you couldn’t go anywhere without someone trying to shoehorn the world entanglement into a sentence, it was ridiculous. But it didn’t slow down after that initial wave. Will Smith was quick to follow up with stories and rumours, heartfelt confessions and cryptic Tweets. My corner of the internet that is mostly overrun with American politics and Instagram models was suddenly a rest haven for Smith drama.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was one Will Smith announced that he had contemplated suicide when Jaden Smith filed for emancipation. Don’t get me wrong, men’s mental health is clearly important, and I think that famous people like Will Smith talking about it is important, but the whole time this drama was going on, I kept waiting for them to announce a movie. I mean that drama clearly had to lead somewhere for money to be made right?
However, the number one spot for most annoying couple clogging up my social media feed is a tie between Machine Gun Kelly (MGK) with his wife Megan Fox and the absolute dumpster fire that is the Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Pete Davidson and some apparently famous women who I don’t care about’s love trapezoid.
For some ungodly reason, there were like two months straight where every week there was a new thing about MGK and Fox. One week it was some weird pact they made, then the next week they were drinking each other’s blood. I vaguely recall that one of the two threatened to jump off of something tall and land on something sharp if they broke up. If I am actually hallucinating that statement, it’s probably because everything that came out about the two was so absurd that that sounds feasible. In fact, when Pop Crave tweeted that MGK designed Fox’s engagement ring to hurt her if she took it off, someone named Tayblesalt13 tweet quoted that everything they had learned about this couple was completely against their will and I completely concur.
Then there is the Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, et al shenanigans. At first, it was kind of entertaining to hear about West’s dysfunctional nature once again ruining a relationship, but I stopped caring long before the media was done telling me about it. Then, when Pete Davidson became involved, the theories, speculation, and vicarious pride us generally toxic men felt watching our bedraggled brethren flourish was kind of fun; until once again, I stopped caring before the media was done telling me about it.
At this point, the relationship situation, monster thing that is the Kim and Kanye love show is no longer fun but exceptionally anodyne. I really don’t think anyone cared about Kanye’s Pete Davidson diss, and I suspect even fewer people cared about Davidson’s response. Since so few people cared, why is it still clogging my news feed? Certainly, this algorithm is working for someone, but that someone isn’t me.
I have to say it, I’m tired of these famous couples clogging up my newsfeed and wasting my time-wasting time. I wish I could charge MGK/Megan Fox or Kim/Kanye/Pete and the other connected peoples a bill for my squandered attention. Sadly, I’ll just have to make do with ranting in the pages of the Other Press.
