Man at centre of attention makes earth-shattering mistake
By Richard Dick, Contributor
Cam Grammar went to a party this weekend in hopes of making friends but instead made headlines with the tragedy of his fatal social-gathering disaster. The third-year student was invited to an intimate friend gathering for the first time and was anxious due to the social pressure to be likeable and funny at a party.
The Other Press interviewed witnesses at the scene about the incident. Jenny Spenny, host and official person to impress if you want to get into the friend group, was in the conversation circle when it happened.
“Grammar seemed so confident at the beginning of his story. No one really knows him well, so you know that everyone in the circle was eagerly listening to his story and actually paying full attention. By the time he got to the mid-way point his voice started to drop and trail off a little. His eyes went totally blank for a second and he mumbled a ‘but I guess that’s it.’ That’s when the rest of us realized that the mid-way point was the end of the story. We all attempted a chuckle, but it was too late for it to be anything but an awkward pity-chuckle.” What a tragic story. We asked witnesses what the worst part of the disaster was, and this is what Guy Man, party attendee and Party Anecdote Expert (PAE), had to say:
“At the end, Grammar tried to make a joke about how bad the conclusion to his anecdote was, but when he chimed in to make that joke—someone else also started telling a different anecdote. The guy telling the new anecdote foolishly insisted that Grammar say what he was going to say, and after much hesitation, Grammar said “Honestly, I was just going to say that I probably shouldn’t quit my day job to tell anecdotes.” It was an admirable attempt at a comeback, but the timing was so just bad that no one could really laugh.” How can one comeback from this and move forward? Our Other Press reporter asks. On this topic, Guy Man states:
“You know it’s one of those things that happens to everyone, but I would recommend keeping your anecdotes on flashcards like I do. A few of the cards I have on hand now are ‘awful ex-girlfriend,’ ‘sassy mother,’ ‘cute pet,’ and ‘fun childhood anecdote,’— which are good for any situation—and ‘bizarrely and unnecessarily personal story’ for those who are into that kind of stuff.”
“I do feel for Grammar though. I guess experiencing that level social tragedy is just one of those great little realities of life that we all get to live in anticipation of,” said Guy Man.
In other news, a random guy at the party who overheard Grammar’s mistake decided to use that as his anecdote on newcomers to the party. The whole group he was speaking to laughed, and one a guy shot beer out of his nose. It seems that Grammar’s anecdote was a good anecdote after all.