Your impending (mis)fortunes
By Isabelle Orr, Entertainment Editor
It’s the spookiest season, readers! I’ve looked to the stars to tell you what you should be scared of this week. Here are your horror-scopes!
Aries
Ha ha, isn’t it weird that your reflection in the mirror looks just a little off? It’s probably just a trick of the light. So weird. Definitely keep looking just to be sure.
Taurus
Did you hear footsteps follow your down that empty corridor? I didn’t either. Don’t turn around though.
Gemini
Sometimes when you turn your phone screen off, I feel like I see a shape in the reflection. Does it look like a tall man in a trench coat and hat? It’s probably nothing.
Cancer
Did you just drop your phone down the crack between your bed and the wall? Just reach your hand down into the crevice and grab it. It’s right there.
Leo
Is your front right tooth loose? Try and wiggle it with your tongue. While you’re at it, what about your last molar on the left? Or your right canine? They all feel a little wiggly to me.
Virgo
Someone’s knocking at your front door. Were you expecting anyone? It’s pretty late at night and you’re alone. It would be rude to not answer though, right?
Libra
That big black crow is just sitting there and looking at you. Do you think it wants to tell you something? I’ve never seen one that big, have you?
Scorpio
That black car following you looks just like the one you kept seeing yesterday. It’s a pretty standard model, though. It’s probably a completely different one.
Sagittarius
Did you just hear that? Was that a human scream? No, it had to be a cat or something. Right?
Capricorn
Walking past the graveyard at night is the quickest way to get home. It’s okay, you can walk a little faster than normal. Maybe faster than that.
Aquarius
That spot on your left hand is new. I’ve definitely never seen it before. It’s not raised, is it? It’s probably nothing, but you should get it checked out. Just in case.
Pisces
I just heard your name mentioned by that group sitting in the corner. Listen—they just said it again! Now they’re looking over here. What do you think they’re talking about?
