Her life hasn’t been the same since
By Chandler Walter, Editor-in-Chief
Shock, embarrassment, and a little bit of boredom crashed its way into the life of a female college student last Wednesday.
The day started off just the same as any other according to Douglas College student, Jessica Kanstup. That is, until she found herself at the New Westminster SkyTrain Station.
“I always take the Expo Line to class,” she said in an exclusive interview with the Other Press. “I get on at 22nd Street, ride for one stop, then walk up to class.”
Unfortunately for Kanstup, she wouldn’t be making it to her Wednesday Philosophy class on time.
“They were waiting for me when I get off the train,” she said. “There were so just many of them.”
Though bits and pieces of information coaxed out of the traumatized Kantstup, the Other Press has gathered that she was approached by not one, but three SkyTrain solicitors in immediate succession.
“It was my own fault, really. I should have been looking at my phone, or had my headphones in. I accidentally met the first one’s eyes, and… and…. It was all downhill from there.”
Kanstup was halted just as she made it to the bottom of the SkyTrain steps. Having been raised to have good manners by thoughtful parents, the poor college student was helpless once pulled into the vortex of casual conversation. After the dust had settled, Kanstrup’s monthly budget had been all but obliterated by the addition of $20 a month to GreenPeace, a Foodora membership she has no use for, and another $40 to the Red Cross.
“I mean, they’re all great causes, don’t get me wrong,” Kanstup said. “I said that I was willing to donate the $10 bill that I had in my wallet, but they said it had to be my credit card. They said it had to be every month. ‘For how long?’ I asked. They didn’t say.”
All told, it took Kanstup a full 30 minutes of forms, signatures, and forced smiles before she was finally free to head to class.
“I’d never seen poor Jessica more flustered,” said Douglas College Philosophy teacher Dave Rysner. “She looked as though she’d had the life sucked out of her.”
The now-broke student was then forced to return to the scene after her class had ended, where she found herself signing a petition protesting something she knew nothing about and spending $15 on a busker’s CD before she could get on the SkyTrain to head home.
“What’s worse is that I misplaced my Compass Card in all the chaos, so when I got to my station a cop gave me a $139 ticket,” Kanstup said. “I think from now on I’m just going to avoid it all by walking to class. The two-hour trek is easier than running that particular gauntlet ever again.”
Kanstup has since cancelled the credit card to avoid the embarrassment of actually having to speak to someone about cancelling her monthly donations, but confessed that she accidentally agreed to sign up for six more credit cards in the following weeks.