Model Mayhem?

Sexy magazine cover models revealed as Andy Serkis performance captures

By Sharon Miki, Humour Editor

In a move that has shaken the fashion industry to its ravenous, beautiful core, famed actor-that-you-probably-wouldn’t-recognize-on-the-street Andy Serkis came forward yesterday to reveal that he is actually the body behind some of the sexiest cover shoots on newsstands today.

“As much as I would love for people to keep believing that Chrissy Teigen is the girl of your dreams, I couldn’t stay quiet on this and let my own genius go unnoticed,” said Serkis. “My only hope is that this information will help me land the coveted US Vogue cover I’ve always wanted.”

Indeed, being the faceless talent behind major cultural visages (and derrieres) is not new to Serkis, who performed in lead roles as Gollum in The Lord of the Rings trilogy and The Hobbit, as Caesar the ape in Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and as Kong in King Kong.

“Performance capture is an underappreciated art,” noted Serkis. “My ability to capture the intricacies of a character shouldn’t be limited to monsters or animals—I give the role of ‘hot babe sticking her ass out on the beach’ just as much pathos as Kate Upton—and I don’t have to work out to get a thigh gap, either!”