80-year-old moms want to do crack and watch Ke$ha too
By Sharon Miki, Humour Editor
In their ever-evolving mission to chronicle dysfunctional parenting, MTV announced casting for their latest show, Octogenarian Mom—a television program chronicling the lives of trashy moms in their 80s.
“First we had 16 and Pregnant, then we had Teen Mom. We followed that with Teen Mom 2 and Teen Mom 3… I mean, the transition is pretty clear. Biologically, we couldn’t go younger, and no one wants to see stable families, so we figured we’d go to the extreme opposite end of the spectrum,” explained studio executive Kimmie Gibbler.
The show will focus on the struggles of mothers as they get accidentally pregnant at the inopportune age of 80-something. Common issues that will be profiled will be the moms’ families’ bewilderment and frustration at the pregnancies.
“You’d think that at 84 years old, my grandma would understand basic human biology or contraception techniques, but… she still got knocked up,” said the granddaughter of one of the newest cast members. “She’s at an age where she herself is starting to need help feeding and changing herself, so how is she going to take care of this baby?”
Indeed, when questioned about the ethics of using the elderly as a sensationalist ploy for ratings on a show that has absolutely nothing to do with music, Gibbler seemed very offended.
“We think the show will be more than entertaining; it will also show that douchey guys are afraid of responsibility at any age, and that girls can be idiots at any time too,” said Gibbler. “Really, it’s a public service against ageism!”