With all the oil to flow, a small one says ‘no!’
By Chandler Walter, Distribution Manager
Workers on the Northern Gateplay Pipeline encountered a strange creature late last week as they were clearing trees.
The animal had evidently been living in the trunk of a great oak, and, upon provocation, jumped out at the workers.
The creature was orange of fur with a yellow moustache, walked on two legs, and stood at about waist-height.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” pipeline worker Ron Dole told the Other Press shortly after the encounter. “It was just snapping at us with its sharp little teeth, brandishing its tiny yellow fists, and then—of all things—it started to rhyme.”
It turns out that the creature was the fabled Lorax, returned once more to speak for the trees.
“You come with your axes, you sweat and you toil
To make this large pipeline to transport your oil
but have you not thought of the trees and the soil?” The Lorax defiantly asked the pipeline workers.
It was not long until animal control arrived to capture and take away the “dangerous and unstable creature.”
Pipeline work continued as scheduled, and the wheels of industry continue to turn.
Our recent reports indicate that the poor critter died in captivity, of a broken heart.