The end of November?

Petitions to remove the garbage month ensue

By Katie Czenczek, Staff Writer

November, famous for being the least favourite month of the year, has fallen under threat of being removed from the calendar once and for all.

A petition was recently posted on Change.org to remove November from the 12-month calendar year. If successful, all following years would consist of 11 months, with each month being extended by a few days in order to make up for the missing month. This way, the calendar year would still coincide with the Earth’s orbit around the Sun.

Janice Swanson, creator of the petition and avid Change.org user, told the Other Press, “Every time November comes around, I immediately feel uneasy. There’s just something really wrong with that month.”

Swanson elaborated by saying that, “The days get shorter, the weather worsens, and I’m always stressed at this time of year. If November were a colour, it would be grey.”

In the past, Swanson has also used Change.org to advocate for the removal of the colour grey.

The anti-November petition has garnered a large following online, and has been taken to numerous political offices around the world in the hopes of pushing forward the removal of the eleventh month. Predominately, people in the Northern Hemisphere have supported the idea, while people in the Southern Hemisphere resist, stating that they would want to keep their summer month.

November, the month in question, contacted the Other Press, stating that he wanted to respond to the “haters.”

“I am so sick of people bagging on me! It’s not my fault that I’m caught between October and December, the ‘fun months.’ If I was next to April we wouldn’t be having this discussion,” he said.

November then discussed his importance within the year, along with his worries about what would happen to Remembrance Day.

“I can’t believe that people overlook the most important day of the year. Do you really want to just forget about all the people that fought for freedom and peace?”

Swanson, however, said that Remembrance Day would still be celebrated, only it would be a part of October.

“I believe that the reason Remembrance Day doesn’t really get remembered is because of the negativity that surrounds November. I mean, as it currently exists, most people just go to shopping malls on that long weekend when they’re supposed to be in mourning, and profs use it as an excuse to pile on assignments. I’d love to see what October would do with that holiday.”

October declined to comment on this pressing issue.

November, who grew increasingly agitated throughout his interview with the Other Press, said that it refused to be “Pluto’ed.”

“I will not go down without a fight. I will create the worst rainstorms and winter flurries that the world has ever seen. They may take away my life but they will never take away my terrible weather!”