A historic victory for a team that everyone saw as a joke
By Chandler Walter, Assistant Editor
In what was an absolutely shocking, come from behind victory over the Hillside Crimsons last night, the Dondleville Clumps silenced the crowd by taking the win.
The scene was set for a historic match here at the Sportsdome, though most in the crowd thought that the championship was all but won by the Crimsons. After weeks of injuries, expulsions, and scandals plaguing the Clumps lineup, no one could have imagined that they would walk away from the series as Champions.
“We played our best, and we played it fair,” said Crimsons’ head coach Jim Crane, “but that wasn’t good enough, I guess.”
The Crimsons had, seemingly, done everything right up until this championship game, and had a healthy lead at the beginning of the night.
“I don’t know what happened,” Crane said. “We let a few easy ones past us, and they rolled it up from there.”
Don Skald, captain for the Clumps, said that he never wavered in his certainty that they would emerge victorious. “Believe me, the haters, they didn’t know what they were talking about. We are the best team, that this arena has ever seen, okay, and I knew we would win, we were gonna win, and we won.”
While many sports fans usually cheer for a come from behind victory, the crowd at the Sportsdome seemed anything but pleased.
“I just. I just don’t know how that happened,” said sports enthusiast Ameera Votiér. “There was no way they could have won… and then they just—did.”
The final score of the sports game read 477–475 in favour of the Crimsons, though for a reason too complex for many sports fans in the audience, these numbers translated to a different, more important score of 290–228 in favour of the Clumps.
“I don’t know what kind of zany algorithm they use for figuring out the scores here, but I don’t think that it’s very fair,” said Votiér. She is not alone, as many fans across the country tuned in to watch the upsetting defeat, and have since staged protests against the newly crowned champions, the Clumps.
“They play dirty, they barely understand the rules of the game, and they only won because the scoring is out of whack,” said protester Dom O’Kratt.
Unfortunately for him, he will have to wait a long four years before another match will be played to crown a different champion.