Required 30 hours to build and 8 minutes to film
By Livia Turnbull, Humour Editor
There was silence at a local McDonald’s in Virginia as 31-year-old Dolan Weston lugged his big, heavy LEGO structure of a school inside the restaurant. Accompanied by his elderly mother holding a camera, Weston waddled over to a set of tables and told his mother to start filming.
“Uh, this is uh, my LEGO model of my old high school in Manchester, Virginia,” Weston said as he pointed to the model built in garish shades of pastel LEGOs. “I had a lot of good memories there. Without further ado, I dedicate this labour of 30 hours to Manchester High School!”
Weston took the two top layers off of the building, revealing the figures of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles inside the school—although Manchester High School has policies against giant, mutant turtles enrolling at the school.
Although the whole structure was extremely detailed—or, as detailed as LEGOs allow for—the most work clearly went into the cheerleaders’ changing rooms. According to an expert with almost one year of experience studying psychology at Douglas College, this appears to be a reflection of Weston’s turmoil and hidden sexual desires during high school, as further evidenced by the cheerleaders eating together at the only table in the building and Weston’s figure being alone in the high school
According to Weston, every character at the school that wasn’t single was already married.
“Yup, the boys and the girls and the gym teachers are happily married to each other. Yay!” Weston said excitedly.
Weston demanded praise for his Godawful creation. He plans to start work on a new project, creating a LEGO model of his local park.