iTones accidentally auto-distributes sensual Bono boudoir pics

‘We still haven’t found what we’re looking for,’ say customers

By Sharon Miki, Humour Editor

Half-a-billion iTones customers awoke to a sexy surprise Tuesday morning when the company accidentally auto-distributed provocative images of U2 frontman, Bono, to their devices.

“I woke up, it was really a beautiful day, and I took out my phone, and—bam—there was a whole gallery of saucy pics of Bono!” said iTones customer, Leah Blog. “To be honest, the pictures left a lot to be desired,” added Blog. “I don’t know what they were trying to do, but I would say that they still haven’t found what they’re looking for—at least when it comes to seductive Bono pics.”

The move is surprising but not unprecedented: earlier this month, U2 auto-distributed copies of their latest album, Songs of Innocence, to the same cohort of customers. While iTones and Bono have yet to release an official explanation for the boudoir-pics release, it seems that some insider must have just assumed that Bono wanted to force his “art” onto everyone without their request or permission.

Customer reactions have generally ranged from ambivalent to outraged, with many customers feeling violated at being given sexy images of a celebrity, when they’re used to having to hack them.

“I mean, yeah, sure—I definitely spent a lot of time looking for those nudes of Jennifer Lawrence—but when you just give them to me, they lose a lot of that naughty appeal,” explained outraged iTones customer Steve Goodguy.