Edited by Eric Wilkins, Struggling Journalist
…because why publish fresh, local content when you can pull an article from the newswire used by hundreds of papers across the country?
Fleet Foxes to change name (Rolling Stoned)
Looking to increase their following in England, American indie-folk band Fleet Foxes are on the verge of a name change. An inside source reported that the decision was inspired by the popular English group Bastille. Taking Bastille’s lead, Fleet Foxes will focus on an important national celebration as well: Bonfire Day. Fleet Fawkes will make the change official on November 5, 2014 to coincide with their new album release.
The manager for the band was apparently left a little in the dark regarding the change though as one of the members said, “He doesn’t know why.”
Fraser Institute’s hockey team struggles (ESP)
The Fraser Institute, looking for another avenue to keep their researchers engaged, has started a recreational hockey team. The highly respected think-tank has started slowly in their season though due to the squad being comprised entirely of right-wingers.
Hockey expert Donna Badjacket commented that, “The group really suffers from overly conservative coaching as well.”
TransClink tapping out (Canadian Mess)
TransClink is set to raise fares this fall to fund the undertaking of another massive project. The Compass system, long held as the solution to fare-evasion, will be completely removed from SkyTrain stations by 2017. The transportation authority had tried in recent months to cover up the system going south by promoting the card as a mini-lottery, with users having a 9-in-10 chance of winning/actually being able to pay, but beta-testers quickly grew savvy to the ruse.
“While we regret these latest fare increases, we hope to soften the blow to users by offering free ‘track walks’ after their extreme popularity last month,” said TransClink spokesman Max Delay.