Couple takes over-sharing to new extreme with divorce photo shoot
By Sharon Miki, Humour Editor
Newlyweds Jessica Ochocinco-Smith and Corby Smith, both 23, have always been intent on showcasing and documenting their relationship on camera. The couple, who met just over a year ago at a Douglas College “Tight & Bright” pub night, has celebrated their burgeoning relationship with professional couple portraits, engagement portraits, pre-wedding portraits, wedding portraits, honeymoon portraits, trash-the-dress portraits, and one-month-anniversary portraits. Now, as their divorce is imminent, the Smiths are hoping to cherish their picture-happy tradition with the latest trend in ultra-cute couple’s photography: divorce portraits.
“Oh, yeah, I totally hate his guts,” explained Jessica. “But, like, I look really good in a soft focus, and I figure that we might as well finish our collection before we never have to see each other again, God willing.”
Jessica and Corby’s divorce photographer, Andy Simma, claims that documenting divorce with pricey portraits is indeed a growing trend among hip, photogenic pairs. “They may be totally incompatible on their day-to-day, but if they look pretty winking over each other’s shoulders in awkwardly posed scenarios, then why not take advantage of that? With over 40 per cent of Canadian marriages ending in divorce, it’s a real opportunity market!”
The divorce portraits will take place in the location that the couple most hated to be together—their home. Simma plans to shoot the Smiths mid-argument, as well as standing passive-aggressively far apart from each other and not making eye contact. “It will all be very glamorous,” said Jessica, “and I’ll finally get to wear black for one of these things.”
Is the couple concerned that turning a major life event into a fluffy photo shoot will undermine the severity of the experience?
“Naw,” said Corby. “I mean, we took staged, outlandish pictures for all the good stuff, so we obviously didn’t take that too seriously. Why should this be any different?”
“I’m hoping that posting these glam shots on my Facebook might even help me meet a new guy sooner!” said Jessica.
The couple claims that—although they both knew almost immediately that their marriage wouldn’t work out—they just really enjoyed taking pictures together.
“Our couple’s shoot was barnyard themed—we were kissing on a tractor! A tractor! In our engagement pictures, we were, like, hiding in and around old tires, kind of like hide-and-seek? It was really cute. And our honeymoon portraits were totally to-die: we had the photographer come and take pictures of us right after we consummated the marriage. We really glowed,” raved Corby.
In total, the Smiths estimate that their year-long relationship, two-month marriage, and impending divorce spawned approximately $86,700 in photo shoot costs.
“It may be expensive, but at least we’ll have our memories,” said Corby.
“Yeah, which is really good, because looking at our professional pictures is the only time I can stand to look at your disgusting face,” said Jessica, rolling her eyes.