How to destroy your GPA this summer
By Sharon Miki, Humour Editor
Are you looking to enjoy your summer this year, but you’re enrolled in a summer semester? No worries: simply follow this recipe and you’ll have a semester full of memories—and poor grades.
Ingredients:
- 1/2 Month-long Palm Bay binge
- 3 Terrible-yet-time-consuming summer flings with totally inappropriate partners
- 2 Summer music festivals to skip class for
- 1/4 of your time spent cruising around town with the windows down to keep your temperature regulated instead of going to class
- 5 Textbooks bought but never opened because “It’s too hot to read today”
- 2 Days a week straight chilling at the beach
Directions:
1) Really slowly combine all ingredients together in your life so that you don’t fully realize how poorly you’re doing academically.
2) Whisk everything lightly with a bit of a YOLO attitude.
3) Receive your final grades.
4) Sob.
Serves 1 really bad GPA
