How to destroy your GPA this summer
By Sharon Miki, Humour Editor
Are you looking to enjoy your summer this year, but you’re enrolled in a summer semester? No worries: simply follow this recipe and you’ll have a semester full of memories—and poor grades.
- 1/2 Month-long Palm Bay binge
- 3 Terrible-yet-time-consuming summer flings with totally inappropriate partners
- 2 Summer music festivals to skip class for
- 1/4 of your time spent cruising around town with the windows down to keep your temperature regulated instead of going to class
- 5 Textbooks bought but never opened because “It’s too hot to read today”
- 2 Days a week straight chilling at the beach
1) Really slowly combine all ingredients together in your life so that you don’t fully realize how poorly you’re doing academically.
2) Whisk everything lightly with a bit of a YOLO attitude.
3) Receive your final grades.
Serves 1 really bad GPA