The future of intersectional theory
By Adam Tatelman, Arts Editor
In response to accusations that her policies were “not inclusive enough,” Douglas College diversity officer Babar Mufasa organized a seminar in the concourse, in which she proposed to alter the Progressive Stack even further to include physical privileges such as height.
“It is clear that we live in a heightist society,” Mufasa began, gesturing to her height comparison chart. “Buildings and facilities are designed according to arbitrary height standards, which is inherently oppressive to tall minorities.”
“Put yourself in the shoes of a tall person,” Mufasa continued, inviting short audience members to come onto the stage and wear platform shoes for a comparison. “Wear these for a day. See how many doorframes you have to duck under, how many desks you whack your knees on, or how many car seats you have to adjust. It’s a good way to check your short privilege.”
“Height is a social construct,” Mufasa replied when a short student asked if he could face heightism. “Arbitrary standards of shortness are upheld by the Diminuarchy, which privileges short people. Because you’re short, you don’t see your short privilege—little things like being able to ask tall people to reach high shelves for you, or not having to hear people complement you on your height. Any issue short people face is merely our short-dominated society backfiring on them, ’cause that’s how privilege works.”
The short, clearly uninformed students suggested Mufasa was being heightist by stereotyping them, but Mufasa was unfazed. “Of course you’d say that,” she replied. “Short people are always taken more seriously than tall people. That’s short normativity, and it’s the reason why tall people cannot be heightist.”
“The entitlement short people feel to the utility of tall people can become dangerous. I was harassed on Twitter over 9,000 times for announcing this talk, so I am putting myself at risk merely by speaking here today. That is why we need to make a space for tall people only, so we can discuss heightism without unsolicited opinions from short people.”
“But, you know, you’re kind of short yourself,” an audience member said during a brief pause in the lecture. Mufasa appeared not to notice.