Best places to cry on the New Westminster campus
By Jessica Berget, Staff Writer
Got the final exam blues? I feel you. The final exam period is a clusterfuck of stress and anxiety for many students, making it the prime time for crying your eyes out. There is truly nothing like coming home from a long day of being an adult and having a terrific sob, you know, the kind when you sob so hard you don’t think you have any tears left in you? That’s the good shit. However, sometimes it’s impossible to wait till you get home to release the waterworks, and you need satisfaction now. Well, the Other Press came to deliver.
Amelia Douglas Gallery (4th floor North)
This is the perfect crying spot for art lovers, or those in need of a quick, quiet weep. Enchant yourself with the artistic styling’s of Ilsoo Kyung’s Jayeonmi (“Natural Beauty”) as you silently whimper to your heart’s content. The best part about this sob spot is that no one will approach you to ask if you’re okay, because they will just assume you’re crying because you are so moved by the art. They’ll probably think of you as passionate or brave for showing such raw emotion, and leave you alone. Cry-sis averted! (Just don’t wipe your tears on the art; people frown on that.)
Water fountain (outside 2nd floor)
This is a great place for a long, meaningless bawl. It’s almost therapeutic, listening to the water stream trickle down like the tears flowing from your face as you lament about how you’re failing all four of your classes, even though you only enrolled in two. If you’re a loud crier, this is the Cadillac of sob spots. Cry as hard and loud as you want, as the noise of the water falling into the pond will surely cancel out any howls and wails that you emit from your body. As an added bonus, you can blame the wetness on your face on the fountain spraying you with water, so no one will know that you were crying. Highly recommend!
This is THE spot to cry in when you’re an absolute emotional mess. Each elevator only has about two to three stops, so don’t be afraid to really let it out. You’ll probably never see the people on the elevator again anyway, and they definitely won’t want to make eye contact with you as you do one of those ugly hyperventilation cries (believe me), so let it all out, dude. A true crying treasure.
The stairs by the parking garage
Picture it: You’re walking up that god-awful hill, you’re exhausted, emotional, stressed the hell out and you see the cutest dog you have ever laid eyes on. Oh my God—look at him, look at his fuzzy little face, he is so cute… oh shit, you need a sob spot, ASAP. Lucky for you, taking a quick turn at the stop sign halfway up the hill and walking past the parking garage will land you in the best crying spot the exterior of Douglas College has to offer. Is there any greater luxury than weeping on a great stoop? I doubt it.
The library (yes, the entire library)
Hell fucking yes. The crying colossus. The god-tier sob spot. The library is like the Disneyland of crying spots with two floors to satisfy all your boohooing needs. Endless nooks and crannies to cry behind, desks you can sit and silently weep at as you pretend to sleep, the private rooms you can book in advance for your bi-weekly sob sessions, and books you can blubber behind as you pretend to read about the French Revolution. This place has got it all, and that’s only the upstairs! As you make your way downstairs in full crying mode, you will find that no one really cares that you’re crying, so your tears will never be addressed, which is a great comfort. The librarians won’t even blink an eye as you return your soggy tear-stained book with snot and tears streaming down your face. It will only be returned by a “Have a nice day!” Definitely recommend.