Equal stress-reduction rooms demanded
By Cazzy Lewchuk, Staff Writer
Every semester, Douglas College introduces a “puppy room” during finals as a way to curb stress levels built up during final exams. Students are invited to play with puppies from a local animal shelter as a way to unwind—but not everyone is happy about the arrangements.
Business major Tom Collins has launched an informal complaint (in the form of a Facebook status) about the lack of inclusion associated with the puppy room. “Where are the strippers? Where are the hot waitresses who walk around giving out free drinks? It’s just some yapping tiny dogs!”
A recent poll conducted suggests that 101 per cent of college students (with an error margin of one per cent) combat stress, emotions, and responsibilities using alcohol. Although a room providing cocktails and beer was supported by 101 per cent of students (some voted twice), the idea was shut down by the authorities in charge. At press time, students were drowning their sorrows at one of the many bars and liquor stores located close to campus.
Many professors and students alike were dismayed to find there is no place in the college where they can take out their frustrations on those who have disappointed them. This list includes (but is certainly not limited to) the professor who never emails you back, group project members who contribute nothing, students who demand extensions repeatedly, and that doofus who’s always texting during the lecture. Sadly, the “fight club” room for patrons of the college to hurt each other is not talked about.
For a small marginalized group of losers, discussing their feelings and creativity through original text is the solution. This activity is known as “writing” with partakers being called “writers.” Generally, these writers combat their stress by sharing pieces of writing with professors and students alike in workshops or the official college newspaper. Such activities are generally known to only increase stress levels and be psychologically damaging forever.