Thrill seekers not impressed with new ride
By Jessica Berget, Staff Writer
Excitement was at an all-time high this Friday when TransLink finally opened their long-awaited thrill ride called the “SkyTrain” to the general public. Despite the initial enthusiasm, it was only after the first 20 minutes that the rollercoaster had been deemed a flop, an impressive new record for TransLink.
“It’s just so lame,” said Ruby Wednesday, a passenger who had just finished her first ride. “It moves for a while and then just slows down and stops at random intervals, sometimes as long as 15 minutes. Everyone looked so bored. It’s not much of a roller coaster. No one was screaming or whooping or waving their arms in the air. All of the other passengers were looking at each other like, ‘This is it? I paid $2.75 for this dumb ride?’”
Besides being incredibly lame, another cause for concern is the safety of the new “SkyTrain” ride. The bold decision to omit seatbelts has attracted the attention of adrenaline junkies from all over the Lower Mainland, but is now the most problematic and dangerous aspect of the ride.
“It’s weird that they don’t have seatbelts but let young children on this ride,” said one patron of the new attraction. “It’s dangerous! When that ride gets going and all you have to hold onto is a pole, someone’s bound to get hurt. One woman even brought her baby in a stroller on board. That can’t be safe for anyone.”
Also questionable is the route and longevity of the ride. Instead of the at most 10 minute loop of a basic rollercoaster, TransLink has taken a different angle, something that confused and annoyed many passengers.
“I thought it was taking me back to the very beginning,” shouted Guy Angery, a recent rider. “Now I am 20 kilometres away from my house and I don’t have any more money to ride it again. Also, it’s called the “SkyTrain” but it went underground. We barely made it into the sky!”
Not helping with the already horrendous publicity, one train car got stuck on the tracks for three hours. Transit security responded by administering fines to everyone on board for their expired tickets while they were still stuck on the ride.