Vancouver’s blog condemns haters and phonies

City’s LiveJournal entry goes viral

By Klara Woldenga, Humour Editor

Unfortunately, for the city of Vancouver, the housing crisis, faulty transit, and FOMO aren’t the only problems it currently faces. An angry LiveJournal post written by the city of Vancouver has recently gone viral, leading to many of its citizens feeling angry and personally attacked. Despite the public outcry, the city refuses to apologize or take down the post.

“I just feel, you know, unloved—unappreciated, really,” Vancouver told the Other Press in an exclusive interview. “I understand I can be frustrating sometimes, but I don’t think people are really interested in sticking with me for the long haul. I needed somewhere to vent, everyone does. I won’t apologize for my outlets, or my art.”

When asked how an entire city with no proper physical form was able to get a hold of a LiveJournal account, access to the Internet, and grow hands to type a blog, Vancouver was quick to answer, stating that “You just wouldn’t understand, no one does.”

Although most of the eight-page post consists mostly of Sonic fan art, the parts of the post where words are written call out the “haters” and “phonies” who live in its city. Using the screen name “Vanbabe1886,” Vancouver encourages those who don’t really love the city—which is everyone according to the post—to “pack up their shit and leave.” The post also discusses the city’s other frustrations towards the people who live in Vancouver, like how unsupportive they are of the city’s emotional struggles.

The city of Vancouver said it wrote that blog post to vent its long-lived frustrations, stating that it’s more about what the citizens are doing that gives it unrealistic expectations about their relationship together.

“It wouldn’t hurt so much if people just stopped wearing those ‘I Heart Vancouver’ T-shirts. I don’t think the people wearing those really understand what love is. Love is about standing by your city through the rough patches, and forgiving them if they do small things, like making housing totally unaffordable, or making out with foreign buyers,” Vancouver told the Other Press.

Throughout the blog post, Vancouver calls out the relationship between New Yorkers and the city of New York itself, stating that it wished it had a relationship with its own citizens similar to that.

“[The people of New York] have such a strong relationship with that city. It’s filled with heartbreak, repair, and people telling others over and over that they are, in fact, walking there,” Vancouver wrote in its blog. “Why can’t the people of Vancouver be more like that?!?!”

Using the screen name “NYRULZ6969,” the city of New York commented on the blog post, stating that Vancouver was “being a total emo,” and should “check itself before it wrecks itself. #truthbomb.”

“Vancouver is still pretty young,” the New York told the Other Press. “I can understand why it lacks the maturity to ask its citizens to change instead of ranting on a blog post, but we all have to grow up eventually. One day this stuff won’t fly, and Vancouver will have to look itself in the metaphorical mirror and ask itself what it has become.”

When Vancouver was asked why it didn’t just directly confront its citizens with its concerns, the city blocked the Other Press and ended the Skype call.