I just can’t wait to go on another camping adventure!
Nothing says summer like a camping trip in the BC backwoods
By Jessica Stein, Person About to Start a Week-Long Camping Trip
(Humour)
The crackle of the campfire, the outdoor air, fun with friends and family; what’s not to love about camping?
In dreary, rainy old BC, we have to make the most of these opportunities in the summer to get out and enjoy the great outdoors. And there’s no better way to do that than the classic Canadian camping trip.
And that’s where I’m off to in just a few hours. The edge of Harrison Lake is calling, and so is a big case of Palm Bays. Soon, it’ll just be me and my friends laughing and drinking and eating unhealthy camp food that tastes so good. It’s just not the same as being in town. The camping experience is something that truly needs to be authentic.
Imagine: sitting by a lake, miles from the hustle and bustle of the city, a cold drink in your hand, and the sun beating down on you. Paradise. No worries besides how toasty you want your marshmallow, no problems besides bringing enough ice. You can’t even get a single bar of cell phone reception! It’s just wonderful.
[quote style=”boxed”]Some people say that camping is too hard, or it’s boring, or it’s gross. To those people, I say quit whining! There are too many bugs? So what, bring some Off and keep your tent closed. You don’t like sunburns? Duh, bring sunscreen. Doesn’t sound hard to me.[/quote]
I remember this one camping trip I went on with my friends. It was such a blast! We went up to Jones Lake, way in the backwoods. My boyfriend and his friends used their trucks to get up this super sketch logging road that no car could get up. We made it there in one piece, but we forgot one thing: propane! So there we were, all kinds of food, no way to cook it. So, we got it together, and improvised by cooking everything over the campfire. Even using cast iron skillets! My friend Mark is such a great cook, I was so impressed. Now that I think about it, that was probably the greatest camping trip I’ve ever been on.
Some people say that camping is too hard, or it’s boring, or it’s gross. To those people, I say quit whining! There are too many bugs? So what, bring some Off and keep your tent closed. You don’t like sunburns? Duh, bring sunscreen. Doesn’t sound hard to me.
So remember: the only thing you need to do for a great camping trip is just come prepared and have some good friends by your side. And don’t forget to have a positive attitude. Smile, for goodness sake! If you come with a plan to have a great time, you’ll make memories that will last a lifetime.
I just can’t wait!
[hr]
I hate camping, and this is the last time I’m ever going
Seriously, get me out of here
By Daniel Kim, Man on Day Three of a Week-Long Camping Trip
The taste of lake water, grit in your food, mosquitoes everywhere… seriously, why the hell did we go camping in the first place?
I know we wanted to all get together and get drunk as hell, but can’t we just do that in a place where I can take a shit in a civilized man’s toilet? We can drink cheap beer at my apartment anytime, let’s just go there.
I’m being serious here: does anyone want to leave? Don’t worry about packing, I will literally throw everything in the fire. That is, I would throw everything in the fire if the fucking rain would let up. Seriously, it rains 400 days a year in this province; why did we think things would change just because we had no roof over our heads?
[quote style=”boxed”]And of course there’s been absolutely no preparation efforts made by the morons I’m with. Forgot the Off? Check. Forgot any sort of air mattress or bedding? Check. Forgot appropriate clothing? Check. So what did we bring? Booze and potato chips, eh? Good, at least we have the essentials. Fuck me.[/quote]
Imagine: sitting by a lake, miles from the hustle and bustle of the city, a cold drink in your hand, and the sun beating down on you. Well, shut up about that, because it is a God damned lie. In reality, you have no comforts besides booze in your stomach and no respite from the idiotic drunk ramblings of your friends, all of whom I now hate. I can’t even get a single bar of cell phone reception! What the fuck?!
And how did I get here? Oh, yes, because of our “memories” of past camping trips, coloured by rose-tinted glasses with a prescription so strong that you need an optometrist to custom make them. Yes, we all remember how fun it is, how we bonded, how we got away from it all. And then you start believing those B.S. lies, and before you know it, you’re back in some hick mudhole, realizing only once you’re halfway through that you’ve just been deluding yourself to going to some shit place like this.
And of course there’s been absolutely no preparation efforts made by the morons I’m with. Forgot the Off? Check. Forgot any sort of air mattress or bedding? Check. Forgot appropriate clothing? Check. So what did we bring? Booze and potato chips, eh? Good, at least we have the essentials. Fuck me.
So, I think the important thing is to learn from our mistakes. It’s been said that those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. And if you’re drunk when that history happens, it’s pretty hard to learn, so expect a couple of repeats.
I just can’t wait to never go camping again.
With files from Liam Britten.
