Virginity? Who needs it

Illustration by Cara Seccafien

Illustration by Cara Seccafien

A tired and outdated concept

By Katie Czenczek, Staff writer


Sex is weird. Or, at least, the way people go about understanding sex is weird. It’s the thing that everyone talks about, yet simultaneously fears at the same time. In other words, sex is like a terrible car crash; we’re horrified, but can’t seem to look away. I think this is especially the case when it comes to defining what sex is and who’s allowed to do it.

The concept of virginity acts as a means for regulating who has had sex and who hasn’t. If, before marriage, you end up shagging your co-worker at a Christmas party, depending on what circle you’re in, you’ll either appear to be a hero or immoral. There really is no in between, and I believe that is a huge problem. Before getting started, I understand and respect that many people value their virginity and that it is spiritually meaningful for them. That’s great, and you do you, but I personally do not think it exists, nor that it should be imposed on others.

If virginity was a real concept, I would have lost mine to a scalpel and a nice gynecologist at 14. Born with an imperforate hymen, I wouldn’t have been able to get a tampon up there, let alone a finger, ping-pong ball, dildo, carrot, penis, tentacle—whatever else people have tried to shove up their bits. It honestly would have worked better than any chastity belt on the market due to what was essentially a flexible brick wall safeguarding my purity. Either way, I am highly skeptical that I will be eternally damned for a 10-minute procedure that allowed myself to be able to swim while on my period like I wasn’t before—but hey, that’s just me.

Though I think that it is bizarre that abstinence is still taught in some private schools, I think what is even more troubling is our societal obsession with losing our V-Cards. When you get to a certain age and you haven’t lost your virginity, you begin to get those looks. Made up of a mix of both pity and judgement, people will be shocked when your own sexual journey hasn’t lined up with theirs. I’m here to set the record straight: You can’t lose your virginity because it was never there to begin with and it has a different meaning for everyone. Whether or not you’ve knocked boots with someone does not determine your worth.

Bottom line—which also happens to be the bottom line of this article—is that it shouldn’t matter whether you’ve had sex or not. I don’t think it makes you a bad person if you have sex, nor does it make you a loser if you haven’t.


The Other Press

The Other Press, Douglas College's student newspaper since 1976. Articles, insight and updates from the New West and Coquitlam campuses.

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