Writer wakes up from post-exam coma

Illustration by Ed Appleby

Illustration by Ed Appleby

Suffers horrible case of writer’s block

By Carlos Bilan, Staff Writer


I actually do not know what to write. I see the headline and I pitched it during the meeting, but I have been typing and hitting backspace so many times I’ve lost count. I see this big blank page in front of me, and I’m trying to think of a good introduction for this article, but I guess this will have to do.

I was thinking that the article could be set in a hospital, but I can’t for the life of me think of a good name for the hospital. I ended up writing (Insert Name of Hospital Here) and continued typing the article, thinking that the idea might come to me later, somehow. I even thought of a name for the character by associating it with a romance language like “Ed Olvido” which sounds like “aide” in French meaning “help” and “Olvido” meaning “forget” in Spanish, but that’s about all I could come up with.

I decided that maybe I should boil some tea and see if maybe during the three minute wait time for the water to boil and the half a minute it takes to let the tea bag set in my mug I might get some sort of inspiration. However, it’s been 15 sips and I still cannot come up with any good punchlines. It’s a humour article and it has to be funny but I can’t come up with anything hilarious! I can’t believe how studying so intensely for exams over the a span of a week-and-a-half can really make you feel like you ran a marathon that lasted more than four hours and all the glucose in your brain just disintegrated and you’re like “uuhh how am I gonna write this.”

I consulted sweet, sweet Miss Google and the results said that I’m suffering what they call a “writer’s block.” Ironically, I was thinking of writing an article that had something to do with a character suffering from a writer’s block and now I ended up rambling and typing up four paragraphs instead of coming up with the article. It’s already over 300 words, and I need 100 more words to fit the word count.

That’s when I had a EUREKA! moment. I’m so happy! I can write the article in my point of view and talk about how it took me almost an hour to just come up with a full-length article with the minimum of 400 words and that’s the punchline! It also fits the title because I am a writer and I just had three exams and you know what, I’m mentally exhausted. As soon as I walked out of the gym door from my last exam, I threw my fist in the air and opened all of my social media accounts, since I had blocked them to increase my productivity. I saw that I had four new Facebook messages, read that Kendrick Lamar is coming to Vancouver, Katy Perry is about to release a new single, and so much more. Withdrawing from social media and opening it all again really was like waking up from a coma.

I’m proud to say that I survived! Exams are over. I am now over 500 words and I can finally submit this to Rebecca, our lovely Humour Editor, so she can edit it. A writer who has woken up from a post-exam coma but fought through the writer’s block. I really feel like I’ve got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire, and [insert more inspirational verses here]. Wow, I can’t believe it! I could even extend this to 600 words, but nah, I think this should do.

Shortly after this article was submitted, staff writer Carlos Bilan was seen tackled by a 5’10” woman with blue lipstick and a crazed look in her eyes. The woman was heard shouting about also having writer’s block and also deciding to “go meta” with her article, before fleeing into a nearby alleyway. If anyone has any information on the suspect’s whereabouts, please contact Assistant Editor Chandler Walter or Editor in Chief Lauren Kelly.


The Other Press

The Other Press, Douglas College's student newspaper since 1976. Articles, insight and updates from the New West and Coquitlam campuses.

More Posts - Website

4 comments on “Writer wakes up from post-exam coma
  1. Most of our list of poker rooms providing video games to India gamers will provide you
    with a sensible choice of game sorts. Our games have been developed for all level of players
    from amateurs to the Professionals by dedicated recreation specialists conserving in mind all sides
    of poker. However, because of a wonderful poker face, some very observant reading
    of Riess’s play, some daring moves and most significantly, a well-timed and consistent bluff, Farber received, and the way!
    The 12 groups will encompass a total of 108 players who will play for the prize
    cash of INR 3.36 crore.

    This allows players in India to peruse the top poker
    websites, and choose those that best suit their personal needs.
    I do know lot of gamers who came to attend IPC just
    to experience it are actually playing on professional poker tours across the world.
    We value the security of our players taking part in at To guarantee a
    very secure, secured in addition to a cushty gameplay, through the use of SSLv3/TLSv1 encryption algorithms, environment friendly collusion detecting strategies and genuine
    random number generation (RNG) we make it possible for our players are taking part in safely in our website.

    Now, the identical platform is also being offered to Indian poker gamers where they will participate in India
    Poker Championship and Indian Poker league. So whereas traditional gambling can be regulated by numerous States throughout the India,
    on-line playing is a completely completely different ball game.
    Our platform provides poker game lovers in India and
    from the world over with the best online poker experience.
    PSL will see 12 teams, enjoying with 9 players each, fighting for
    the prize cash of Rs 3.36 crore. And in a hand-over-hand state of affairs, Lawrence Sanjay’s (9h 9s) dominated
    and held up in opposition to Paras Kumar’s (4c
    4d) giving Lawrence his first title at the India Poker Championship.

    This diploma of mind and skill won’t be required in roulette, lottery or other slot video games
    and everybody (skilled or not) would stand an equal chance of winning.
    With exciting options & dependable platform, Adda52 is the one selection for poker sport lovers in India.
    The biggest poker prospects from India showcased
    their abilities to try to develop into the champion. Texas Maintain’em: Play the well-known poker card sport i.e.
    Texas Hold’em poker wherein 2 cards are distributed to every player and 5 cards
    are laid down in a flop, turn and river respectively.

    However, a call about offline rummy is predicted
    from the Supreme Court next week but that may haven’t any bearing upon the legality or illegality of on-line poker, on-line rummy, on-line card games, and so forth.
    In the preliminary days of my poker Journey, I used to watch WSOP and EPT
    ultimate occasions and at all times longed that Indians need/get this consideration and that we
    may do higher than most if the platform and sponsors come ahead.
    Rajat Agarwal, founder of , a web-based poker information portal, estimates
    that round 2 lakh to five lakh Indians at the moment play actual-cash poker.

    The thing was, avid gamers from India have been at all times current on worldwide web sites,
    if not in great numbers. General these Poker Championships and poker league
    are methods to popularise the game of poker
    in India and will help many champion poker
    gamers to take part and win right here regionally with out parting
    the cash to the completely different country. Since playing is set primarily
    on the state level although, this will not be as decisive as some suppose it might, as all
    this could do is strike down a federal law applying
    to poker, but states still could give you their own laws, as
    they do anyway.

    In at the moment’s Daily 3-Wager we’ll check out some large
    plans for Indian poker in 2017, an enormous Borgata match
    and PokerStars’ new Spinball. Chances are you’ll learn and stay updated on Indian poker news in your
    android mobiles and iPhone. Once that occurs, you’ll find a much wider vary of live tournaments being held within the country, and reside poker games will turn out to be simpler to search out
    and take part in. The jurisdictions from which operators can not accept gamers should have
    a selected law towards permitting video games of talent, since
    the Supreme Courtroom position means that no federal
    playing legislation would apply.

  2. The life of writers is such tough. In the website copywriting job the social life almost ended. The reason behind it that everything in internet marketing depends on the writing. That’s why demand for writers also increase and too much pressure built on writers.

  3. Writing is like petting, no more or less. Writing one never gets to the point, and can begin to rub for hours, days, weeks, months, years, and so on. In short, writing is not pleasant, but it’s exciting.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.