Universe finally responds to complaints and adds billions more stars
“We have electricity to light our areas, but lightbulbs eventually burn out. Stars, as far as I know, do not.” -Frank Almend
Category: HUMOUR
City Center becomes free-range wolf habitat
“We aren’t one hundred percent on the science, but damn if we’re going to argue with a city that has 300 wolves.” – The Hakai Institute
Local millennial manages 11 side-hustles on top of full-time employment
“He works two types of food delivery, runs a ride share, picks up shifts as a taxi driver, walks dogs, takes on translation and transcription work online, tutors, teaches a spin class and a kickboxing class on weekends… I really don’t know how he does it.”
Top 5 $200 books to fall asleep on
When buying your books this semester, stretch your dollar and make sure they fulfill a dual purpose.
Douglas security statement puts college students at ease
“Bikes do so much for us, they really deserve a nice afterlife.” – Chris Jackson
How to prepare for a nuclear strike
Death and destruction are synonymous with big cities—so your best bet is to avoid them completely.
Authorities warn public to watch out for oncoming hipster swarm
“In large swarms they’ve been known to destroy favourite restaurants and entire genres of music in a single day.” – Frank Greener
BC government budgets $210 million for newer, faster ferries
“We belong to a civilization that has a space station orbiting Earth. People have walked on the moon. It shouldn’t take two hours to sail from Vancouver to Victoria.” – Claire Trevena
David’s Tea co-owner finds himself in hot water
“I mean, who wouldn’t want a whole bunch of people mobbing them and asking for photos? We buy his dry leaves; he should allow us to take a photograph of him whenever we ask. It’s the law.” – Mark Jackson, tea enthusiast
Trudeau holds séance to contact the ghost dogs of William Mackenzie King
After all the rituals were done, three Irish Terriers appeared and began barking advice first in English, followed by French.