From the creative minds that brought you some pretty fucked-up movies if we’re being honest
By Rebecca Peterson, Humour Editor
Dreamworks Animation studios held a press conference this past weekend, rolling out their new line-up of possible productions for the public to review and approve. These 10 potential films are said to reflect the “style and values” of Dreamworks, with emphasis on imagination and fun for the whole family.
This film follows a family of strange, mascot-type creatures living in sewage drains across America! The storyline may be lacking, but the movie is sure to bring out the laughs, however cheap, as the Grundles get into all sorts of wild shenanigans! (The trailer is said to feature the song “Get Low” by Lil Jon, who will be voicing one of the titular Grundles.)
My Life as an Amoeba
An amoeba and a young boy switch lives for a day, kicking off a touching story about the value of learning to see the world from different perspectives.
Set in the small Canadian town of Vancouver, SkyTrains! follows the musical story of the young Evergreen Line, as she tries to measure up to her older brother and sister, Expo and Millenium. A wonderful coming-of-age story exploring the dynamics of sibling rivalry.
Have you ever wondered what your hats get up to when they’re not on your head? Dreamworks has! It’s said this film will also reflect topical issues such as racism, poverty, and terminal illness.
Fruit Have Feelings Too
A heartwarming story written to teach children empathy, following the adventure of one apple searching for the tree it fell from. Backed up by an incredible cornucopia of co-stars, this film is sure to bring a few tears to even the crabbiest of apple’s eyes.
A lazy humour editor learns the errors of her ways and turns from cheap jokes to well thought-out humour that’s both intelligent and thought-provoking. A silent short film.
These Sassy Toddlers sure are a handful! But can they take down the evil forces of Kim Jong Un and avert a nuclear holocaust???
Based off a German fairy tale, The Thumbsnipper follows little Conrad Suck-a-Thumb as he tries to escape the sharp shears of the wicked tailor who’s come to cut his thumbs off. A cautionary tale for children, sure to terrify and traumatize!
Where’s Waldo 3-D
Cashing in on the nostalgia of ’90s children, Where’s Waldo will provide much-needed backstory for the red-and-white striped character we’ve all learned to hunt over the years. This movie is sure to teach young children the importance of not being seen.
Talking Animals: The Musical!
Self-explanatory. Starring three famous pop singers who have never voice-acted in their lives, and Alan Tudyk, probably.