By Allie Davison, Contributor
Abracadabra: go away
I am a WOMAN who [wish I hadn’t] saw a MAN
Where: Burquitlam
When: 2014-03-14
You: Aimlessly wandering the aisles of Coles at Lougheed Mall. Me: Walking directly to the occult section, purposefully searching for the newest Wicca book to add to my collection. I can understand why I caught your eye (my Pokémon T-shirt is quite fetching), but nothing in my demeanour welcomed conversation. You threw your best cloak-and-wizard’s-hat pick-up line at me; I barely glanced your way. But believe me, I wish I hadn’t seen you.
Is there nowhere safe to look gross post-breakup?
I am a WOMAN who [wish I hadn’t] saw a MAN
Where: Lafarge Lake
When: 2014-03-17
You: I was going for my morning run. Sweating. Out of breath. In old, too-small leggings and an oversized T-shirt—looking totally horrible. What you were doing in my neighbourhood, at 8 a.m. on a Saturday? You def saw me. You made eye contact, and looked away, smirking. You, with your perfect hair, perfect bod, and fabulous new gf. I wish I didn’t see you, but I did—and now my life is over.
