Local woman fights for the right to be declared legally blonde

Screenshot of Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde

Screenshot of Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde

By Sharon Miki, Humour Editor

A 25-year-old Burnaby woman has won an almost two-month battle to be declared officially, legally, “blonde.” The woman, Ellie Woods, presented her case against the BC Court of Nonsense, based on the idea that if people can be legally married and legally divorced, she should be able to be legally the thing that she holds dearest—blonde.

“All people see when they look at me is blonde hair and big boobs,” said Woods, via a prepared statement her lawyer read to the press after the decision. “And that’s great. But I want to be recognized for my assets the same way a doctor is recognized as ‘doctor whoever.’ I want to be legally blonde.”

Fortunately for Woods, it seems that the Court of Nonsense is pretty inept, and will let you do pretty much whatever you want if you’re attractive—in a way, proving Woods’ point.

“I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life—this doesn’t mean that I’m a lawyer though. Still I figured it was worth a shot to put forth a precedent-setting, sort-of-insane idea before the court,” explained Woods.

When questioned about her win, Woods countered with, “What? Like it’s hard?”

As for the future, the newly anointed blonde feels confident that she can maintain her look for the time being.

“The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would know.”

The Other Press

The Other Press, Douglas College's student newspaper since 1976. Articles, insight and updates from the New West and Coquitlam campuses.

More Posts - Website

2,837 comments on “Local woman fights for the right to be declared legally blonde
  1. Well, I did enhance, thanks to your suggestions, but for me that meant losing my video games with
    just one sphere left on the table instead of 5 or 8 …
    I did win one video game, because my opponent damaged on the 8.
    Thanks to your tips, I have actually enhanced a fair bit!!!

  2. whoah this weblog is wonderful i really like reading your articles.

    Stay up the great work! You recognize, many individuals are looking around for this info, you can help them
    greatly.

  3. Howdy! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my good old room mate!
    He always kept talking about this. I will forward this post
    to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!

  4. Do you have a spam issue on this blog; I also am a blogger,
    and I was wanting to know your situation; many of us have created some nice methods and we are looking to swap strategies with other folks,
    please shoot me an email if interested.

  5. I write a comment whenever I appreciate a article
    on a blog or if I have something to valuable to
    contribute to the conversation. It is triggered
    by the passion displayed in the article I browsed.

    And after this post The Other Press | Local woman fights for the right to
    be declared legally blonde. I was moved enough to create
    a comment 😉 I actually do have 2 questions for you if it’s okay.
    Could it be simply me or do a few of the responses appear as if they are left by
    brain dead visitors? 😛 And, if you are writing on additional sites, I’d like to follow everything fresh you have to post.

    Could you list the complete urls of your shared sites like your Facebook page, twitter
    feed, or linkedin profile?

  6. Absolutely love this incredible website, excellent content
    here, was actually a little sceptical around obtaining a steam shower system for our house but the
    content here sorted my head out, amazing thank you

  7. Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the images on this blog loading?
    I’m trying to determine if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog.
    Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

  8. I absolutely love your blog and find many of your post’s
    to be what precisely I’m looking for. Does one offer guest writers to write content to suit your
    needs? I wouldn’t mind producing a post or elaborating on a number of the subjects you write related to here.
    Again, awesome website!

  9. Oh my goodness! Awesome article dude! Many thanks, However I am having difficulties with
    your RSS. I don’t understand the reason why I can’t subscribe to it.
    Is there anybody having the same RSS issues? Anyone who knows the answer can you kindly respond?
    Thanks!!

  10. I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good.
    I don’t know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous blogger if you aren’t
    already 😉 Cheers!

  11. After I initially left a comment I appear to have
    clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now
    every time a comment is added I recieve four emails with the exact same comment.
    Is there an easy method you are able to remove me from that service?
    Many thanks!

  12. I’m amazed, I have to admit. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s both equally educative and engaging,
    and without a doubt, you’ve hit the nail on the head. The problem is something that not enough people are speaking intelligently
    about. I am very happy that I found this during my hunt for something concerning this.

  13. Can I just say what a comfort to uncover somebody that truly understands what
    they are talking about on the internet. You certainly understand how to bring a problem to light and make it important.

    More people have to check this out and understand this side of the story.
    It’s surprising you aren’t more popular because you certainly possess the gift.

  14. This video series is excellent for newbies and advanced marketers alike, since
    it holds you by the hand and requires you step-by-step through the entire approach, starting with an explanation of forum advertising
    and marketing, and then operating by way of each step
    towards establishing your self as an professional on a forum, and advertising your
    merchandise with out becoming overbearing.

  15. obviously like your web-site but you need to test the spelling on quite a few of your
    posts. A number of them are rife with spelling issues
    and I find it very bothersome to inform the reality on the other hand I’ll surely come again again.

  16. Hello There. I discovered your site using msn. This is certainly
    an incredibly well written article. I am going to make sure to bookmark it
    and return to learn a greater portion of your useful info.
    I appreciate you the post. I am going to definitely return.

  17. I realize this if off topic but I’m looking at starting my own, personal weblog and was
    curious what all is required to acquire setup?
    I’m assuming using a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny?
    I’m not internet smart so I’m not 100% sure.
    Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated.
    Kudos

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*