Photo illustration by Lauren Kelly
Creating change is hard, treat yo’self instead
By Klara Woldenga, Entertainment Editor
Sure, we all want to change the world. Unfortunately, with all of our Instagram and Facebook feeds, who has the time or the energy? Face it, having your posts go viral is way more rewarding and important than attempting deep social change. If you ever get an inkling to put down your phone and help the world and communities around you, just remember this list and rest easy knowing you didn’t have to do anything hard or painful.
Blame someone else
The beauty with having so many people living on the planet is that there’s so many you can blame instead of looking at your own faults. Feeling nostalgic? Blame your high school teacher for hurting your motivation. Feeling a little detached or highbrow? Blame society in general. Don’t worry about any coincidences—your anger is totally nebulous and doesn’t change a thing.
Buy something
Buy anything labelled “organic” or “sustainable”. Voting with your wallet is totally a thing, but due to loose regulations—and a billion other factors you don’t need to know—I assure you the difference isn’t enough to actually do anything.
Engage in Facebook activism
Not only can this be done in the comfort of your own home, you also look really cool doing it. Why go outside and give up control of your environment when you can simply click a button that shows that you are really against poverty in Africa? Just remember to turn on your WiFi. You don’t want to pay extra for pretending to invoke change.
Publicly shame someone on social media
There’s no better way to feel better about yourself than to make someone else feel shitty for something they probably didn’t mean. Use your favourite platform like Twitter, Facebook, or even Instagram, and find a small joke or comment that you can twist into something mean and awful to share with your like-minded buddies. Creating a public shaming event is easier than ever and we have nothing better to do than assume the worst in everyone else.
Travel
After engaging in all the above activities, you totally deserve a vacation! Travel to an impoverished land to really make sure you see what you take for granted. Post all of your adventures online for everyone to see, and relish in the “Wow, good for you!” comments you will undoubtedly receive. But don’t you worry, this won’t change you. I guarantee that within three weeks of returning home you will start taking your surroundings for granted again.
