BC government decided by rock, paper, scissors

‘In the end, it seems to be the only fair way to decide this’

By Rebecca Peterson, Humour Editor

 

Citizens of British Columbia were largely unsurprised this week when it was announced that party leaders Christy Clark (Liberal), John Horgan (NDP), and Andrew Weaver (Green) were to decide the outcome of the ongoing election shenanigans with an epic three-way game of rock, paper, scissors.

“After all the shouting and bickering and side-swapping and nail-biting, in the end, it seems to me to be the only fair way to decide this,” said Weaver, standing between Clark and Horgan during a press conference on Monday night. “No one wants a minority government—I mean, we all say we do, but honestly what’s the fun of being a party leader if you don’t have total and complete power? Christy, you know what I’m talking about, am I right?”

(Clark did not comment on the matter.)

The rock, paper, scissors method has only been used in politics a few times before in Canadian history, and never in such a public matter. It is rumoured that the decision to keep Stephen Harper in office over the course of several elections was decided by a few poorly-played rounds of the game, and remains an example of the risks and faults of such a method.

“This is obviously not the ideal system for a functioning government, but quite honestly I think it reflects the will of the voters far more fairly,” said Horgan. “It’s sort of a winner-takes-all kind of thing. In the end our priority is to get the government moving again, isn’t it? We want to see some changes around here, and we’re not going to get that done if we can’t all just agree who the supreme leader of the province is.”

The game will be played before a panel of seven impartial judges near the end of the month, and while the outcome is statistically random, it’s suspected that Weaver will somehow win either way.

The Other Press

The Other Press, Douglas College's student newspaper since 1976. Articles, insight and updates from the New West and Coquitlam campuses.

More Posts - Website

16 comments on “BC government decided by rock, paper, scissors
  1. My brother suggested I may like this blog.
    He was totally right. This publish actually made my day.
    You can not believe just how so much time I had spent for this info!

    Thanks!

  2. Hey there! Do you know if they make any plugins to
    assist with SEO? I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good gains.
    If you know of any please share. Appreciate it!

  3. Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your web site and in accession capital to assert that I acquire actually enjoyed account your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you access consistently rapidly.

  4. Hi there every one, here every one is sharing these kinds of knowledge, therefore it’s fastidious to read this website, and I used to visit this web site all the time.

  5. I think this is among the such a lot vital info for me. And i’m happy reading your article. But wanna statement on some common issues, The site style is ideal, the articles is in point of fact excellent : D. Good process, cheers

  6. I do not know whether it’s just me or if perhaps everybody else encountering
    issues with your site. It appears like some of the text on your content are running off the screen.
    Can someone else please comment and let me know if
    this is happening to them too? This may be a issue with my web browser because I’ve had this happen before.
    Cheers

  7. Hey There. I found your blog using msn.
    This is an extremely well written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of
    your useful information. Thanks for the post.
    I’ll definitely comeback.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*